In my mind the most important piece of information would be about how you to put your kids to sleep without drama.
So last night, I was trying to get both my extremely wired kids to sleep. It was one of those days where my 42 month old didn’t get his nap and my 18 month old was happy to have big brother entertain her till late. Then I remembered that I hadn’t practiced singing them their lullabies for quite a while now, and it was a good time to test it out. 1 jingle and 3 songs later, like magic they were yawning and falling asleep in my arms. Works like a charm every time, even after not having done so for a while.
But before I begin, I realize that I can’t tell this story properly without a little back-story, so here I go: While I was in my fifth month of pregnancy with my first, my husband gave me a little treat to a concert for Jason Mraz! There I was up in the balcony jiving to Jason with my hubby and a couple of friends, when one of my favourite songs comes up, I won’t give up. Then right in the middle of the chorus, my son kicks me and it almost felt as if he was dancing in my belly, jiving along with me. It was magical! Immediately I knew that this was going to be our song.
So fast-forward 4 months later, Eliot was born. It was then, when got some advice to put him down with a lullaby. So the first night back home the hospital, there I was nursing my sweet little bee. Overwhelmed with emotions and probably drowning with hormones, I cried (happy tears) as I clumsily tried to come up with a simple jingle to put him to sleep. It was easy, all he needed was my boob anyway, but I guess psychologically it felt like the little lullaby was more for me.
Days moved into weeks, it was all a blur at first, but after a while I realized that there were some days, where he needed a little more coaxing. So while repeating my quick little number felt silly, I understood that he needed something a little more substantial to lull him down to a drowsy enough state, before I put him down to fall asleep on his own. And as I started to run through all the various popular children lullabies in my head, suddenly it was so clear… it had to be our song! So there I was, cradling him with one arm, while scrolling through youtube for Jason Mraz’s ‘I won’t give up’ and found a video with lyrics so I could sing along. Maybe it was just hearing my voice crackling along, maybe it was the music in the background, maybe just maybe… he recognized our song (that I’d like to believe), but before I could even finish the song, he was fast asleep. I was in my happy place again.
So here’s the thing, I’m pretty sure that it’s not because I have such a beautiful voice or that babies know what lullaby’s mean. It’s got something to do with conditioning. Conditioning in physiological terms, a behavioral process where with frequent reinforcements, condition the subject into recognizing the stimulus into a desired response. This subconscious learning process was made famous by Edward L. Thorndike, who postulated the Law of Effect, where learning becomes increasingly effective in evoking a response, when a subject is given a recurring stimulus, with increasing regularity in a stable environment or condition. In psycology, this procedure is called classical (or respondent) conditioning.
Ok but in the beginning, Ivan P Pavlov, a Russian physiologist, actually founded this theory with an experiment with a dog. Yes a dog! He held a dog in a controlled room, and rang a bell each time he introduced powdered food being puffed into its mouth. The dog tasted it the food after every ring of the bell. Soon after, the dog began to salivate upon hearing the ring of the bell, even when Ivan stopped introducing the food. The bell here is the conditioning stimulus. How very cool is that?
So in the case of my kids, after continued conditioning of singing or playing the lullabies to signal bedtime, they naturally fall to a sleepy state upon hearing the stimulus. And even after having forgetting to practice this with them after some time, it was still effective when given the correct comforting environment of a cozy, darkened bedroom. I have to admit, it worked so well in the beginning that I did have some apprehension to it’s safety. My mind was racing with silly thoughts like, what if the popular songs come on the radio or in a shopping center? Would they magically turn sleepy or fall asleep on the wheel in future? I know … silly right? Well, that situation did eventually happen, I mean its Jason Mraz and I won’t give up is a highly popular song. But I’m happy to report that even though my kids recognize the song, they weren’t affected by it that much and happily went along on their way with minimal effect, in those instances.
But lucky for me, for bedtime where it really matters and under the right environmental conditions, it still works like a charm!
Good luck with those pesky bedtime routines, mummies! I wish you well in putting them to bed like a Boss!
Sincerely Leopard Mum!
PS: my little made up jingle is an easy six lines, but it’s good enough to signal bedtime for the kids. Here is it:
Goodnight baby Eliot,
Goodnight baby Eliza,
Goodnight daddy
Goodnight mum,
Goodnight Sasa (our helper)
Goodnight world.
And our lullaby songs are Jason Mraz’s I won’t give up and John Legend’s Like I’m gonna lose you.
Ref: https://www.britannica.com/science/conditioning